Stand By You
by sulphurage
Summary: Rui's POV on Tsukushi, n how (I hope) he feels [based mainly on e drama]


HYD: Rui POV (dark) 

Stand By You

Disclaimer: Hana Yori Dango does not belong to me, although, of course I wouldn't mind.. ha~ 

Scene: Based mainly on the Meteor Garden drama. Rui's in Hong Kong helping out his father in the family business, due to some crisis which cropped up. On this night he thinks of friends back home, and how he really feels for Tsukushi, or so I hope! ^_~

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There are things to confess that enrich the world, and things that need not be said.

_Joni Mitchell _

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A true friend is one soul in two bodies.

_Aristotle _

He closed his eyes, slipping his fingers though the tight knot of the tie roped around his neck, loosening it and flinging it away from him. _Get away from me, _he thought, flicking his delicate wrist and sending the piece of cloth spiralling somewhere towards the empty shadows of the sparsely attired room. This place, this executive studio, was his temporary abode while he helped to buoy his father's business, and Hong Kong turned out to be a tougher place than he imagined. 

_Because I've never stepped out of home before to face the real world?_

Burying his face within his palms, Rui Hanazawa gently massaged his aching eyes, feeling his energy drain further. A single, bloodshot coral-green eye gazed through a gap between his fingers at the shafts of light that filtered through the cracks of the blinds. White, blank, and nondescript. It was what he'd always been comfortable with—a quiet theme with little fuss, nothing outstanding. Now it resembled the office he slogged in every day. 

_Somewhere far away, doing something I don't know how to. _

His throat tightened. Sitting here, alone in the king-sized bed staring at the semi-closed window, the hollow void within him magnified tenfold. So, as he had done since he first arrived three months ago, Rui sifted through memories of friends, school and events back where life was fun, maybe simpler… _but probably not. _He wondered how Tsukasa, Soujirou and Akira were getting along, and whether Makino was anywhere in the picture. He hoped life wasn't treating the girl too badly; she deserved better.

A slight smile broke out on his weary face, and he removed his hands, almost naturally reaching out to flip the blinds wide open. White light from the streets outside flooded his bed, and he blinked instinctively against the sudden glare. 

So she reminded him of light. Now Rui chuckled, reminded of the numerous times Tsukasa's antics had landed her in awkward, difficult situations, and how her own impulsiveness and headstrong behaviour buoyed her through those trials. He felt, undoubtedly, a strong admiration for the determined, precocious girl, because she had the sort of courage heroes possessed, something he needed to purge himself from fear in order to earn.

After all, he had fallen for her once; her bravery outshone everything—even Shizuka, at that point of time. 

It had been his original intention to use her, he admitted. Back from France with a broken heart and an apparently more liberated spirit, he'd set her up, knowing fully well about the fact that Tsukasa had his eye on the same girl. Why? He hated himself for it, but he knew that she'd let him. That look she wore whenever their eyes met spoke volumes, and he could sense longing a mile away. It had been that simple to him then, because he'd felt nothing; after Shizuka he thought he had lost the only thing he had ever wanted. 

He didn't know how serious Tsukasa was, but only that she had _some _worth somewhere, and wasn't as cheap as every other frivolous girl who'd arrive at the snap of his fingers. 

__

Yes. She is precious. It took time to understand why Tsukasa felt so deeply. 

Inhaling deeply the scent of sandalwood drifting in his room, Rui swallowed hard, pushing back the boiling tears that were building up. 

Tsukushi had honestly, sincerely cared. It had struck him that night, when the coldness that had dominated his heart was reaching absolute zero. Unbearable, he'd brought her close for warmth—to realise the depth of her genuine emotions. In a sense the way she felt complemented his pain, and since then he'd regarded in a different light. 

Different, but not like Shizuka. 

How many times can you love in a lifetime? He'd always assumed once, and he knew Tsukasa, of all people, thought likewise. Maybe it was just an immensely strong bond of friendship, but the upwelling of protective courage that overwhelmed his senses whenever he heard of her troubles or worries, that razor-sharp instinct to help and stand by her in such times were emotions he'd never fully experienced. Be there for her, ease the pain and give her a shoulder to cry on.

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Always good friends, they'd mutually agreed. 

It was hard.

Impossible to discern from the surface, perhaps the only person who could make out his struggle would be Shizuka. Irony just seemed like the way life went, how fate always twisted the story's plot to make everything seem so cliched. 

From the time they'd kissed at the beach to the night at Shigeru's hot spring resort, their friendship had solidified and strengthened through tribulations. _Not _respecting her character was difficult, and he was privately thankful she wasn't a drop-dead gorgeous beauty, otherwise he'd have an even tougher time.

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Yeah right, he chided inwardly. He would never feel as peace or at ease with anyone, he knew, nor have the ability to empathise with someone else's feelings like he understood hers. The time where she'd held everything in and then broke down sobbing against his shoulder and the desperate, heartbreakingly sorrowful way she'd walked straight into the pond just to look for the necklace Tsukasa had discarded… One look at the tears pouring down the face he wanted so much to glow sent that surge of energy, the protective wave that lent him so much power. It was true: when she hurt, he could feel the grief shatter part of his own soul. 

He could have pushed for a deeper relationship.

And he did not, because he shouldn't. 

Stifling those feelings was for the greater good ultimately, since Tsukasa was in the picture. With another volatile person like him, plus the fact that he was utterly sure that he loved Makino, Rui could only back off, because the way things ended were already fixed. He hated to admit it-- Doumyouji Tsukasa got whatever he wanted, but this time it was through his own strength and patience, with enough sacrifice and difficulty. 

_They love each other. _He knew that. 

He smiled, running his fingers through locks of amber-tinted hair before throwing himself onto the soft recesses of his comforter. 

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And I'll always love her, he thought, shaking his head at how this statement, voiced aloud, would betray his best friend's trust. Even Tsukushi would be surprised: she clearly assumed he never felt for her, wouldn't imagine that he'd once tasted bitter jealousy and blithe affection for her.

She'd taught him how to draw strength and how to care. In exchange he could only offer loyalty and friendship. Rui guessed both of them knew exactly how things were, as did Tsukasa, and no one really needed to explain anything to anybody. 

_Good luck Tsukushi Makino… keep your roots firmly in the ground and fight for the sunlight—you'll find your peace and happiness eventually. _


End file.
